Well I think the last time I posted was a little before summer. This year has surely had its ups and downs. Unfortunately, I have this thing in my head weighing me down telling me everything is shit. I try and turn it around and think of the positive things in my life but I can't think of any. Anyway, my best friend became single and I pushed her into exploring herself and opening her mind. At least I tried... When I'm alone I AM ALONE. I MIGHT have a couple of guys to talk to for extreme lonely nights but i surely have had those days where I stay in alone and wonder about myself. Like who I am, what I want to achieve in life and pretty much have gone through existential crisis. At least I think I have. - I hope I have. I know I have. I know what I like and the more I age the more I do whatever the fuck I want. I've learned it makes people angry and hateful towards me. Especially my bestfriend. She wants me to hang out with artificial people and unfortunately she is one of them. She doesn't know what she likes. I've never seen her have a hobbie. When she broke up with his guy her artificialness was enhanced to another level and I tried to push her to get to know herself. My best friend is a beautiful person (on the outside) and is pretty much spoiled by every guy and she can't truly be by herself. I feel like she has it way too easy and either she is becoming a very ugly person or always was and its coming out now. I believe the one where shes becoming a very ugly person. Because I once knew my best friend as a person with a big heart and beautiful feelings. I feel like she's losing all that - she's falling victim to social pressure and drugs and getting addicted to getting everything easy from guys. I've tried to tell her but she's so defensive.
Do i let her be? Push her away until she realizes how ugly of a person she's becoming on the inside. I know she has the potential for her inner beauty to match her outer beauty but I feel like she takes everything I tell her as a threat. I hope someone reads this and is able to give me advice.
Issue#2 lol.:
My sister doesn't appreciate anything my parents have always done for her. She is losing the house and they're helping her save it. They went away to China for a month and she wasn't capable of even caring about the shit they have to do. Like their mail, collecting their rent or trying to figure out what SHE can do to help the situation shes gotten herself into. Shes 34 by the way. Not 15. or 20.
Instead she goes out to party while her daughter is home (she's toned it down because me and my mom almost killed her ) and she :drumroll: visits my moms enemies. ---Is she a piece of shit... ?? Or am I expecting too much of her.
As soon as my bf saves enough to 1)buy a car 2)save for deposit and rent, I'm getting tfo of her house.
^ That issue is complicated to me. Why? because she's left my niece sleeping alone in the house to go party. Negligently. Is it my responsibility to make sure my niece is safe and grows up normal? Should I stay here and live as if I'm her 2nd mother or get out and have her deal with it. -- But what if my niece gets raped or touched by a man my sister brings home OR idk? I have to move on and LIVE my life otherwise the cycle will repeat with my children. Sorry.
<3 This feels good.
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